My One Word – What’s yours?

wor·thy
adjective: worthy; comparative adjective: worthier; superlative adjective: worthiest
  1. 1.
    deserving effort, attention, or respect.
    “generous donations to worthy causes”

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Recently I was reading a wonderful book by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Call. In it she talks about how she believes that we all come in to this world with One Word as our .. challenge word if you will. The One Word that defines the lessons you are here to learn this life, the Word you must embody, not just to yourself but to others. That in living this One Word we will come to live fully, wholy, alive.

For some it’s resting, or trust, whisper, nourish, dance, laugh, there are so many words possible.

“Living your word opens the door your fear has closed.”

My first thought was that my word would be Love. This seemed so obvious, this is one aspect I feel so strongly within it overflows in all I do and I’ve had such a tough time accepting it, even when it’s right in front of me (or within me). But then, bah!, she directs the reader away from “big” words such as Love.

I was a bit irked I will admit, “What do you mean I can’t use that word? It’s how I feel, isn’t it worthy? Aren’t I worthy of using this word?”. When it hit me, fairly clearly.

My word is Worthy.

It isn’t that Love has been in short supply or non-existant, it’s that I haven’t felt Worthy of it.

I didn’t feel Worthy of speaking growing up, or writing. I hardly felt Worthy of jobs I had, money coming in, gifts being given, kind words said to me. Worthy of a loving relationship? No. Worthy of a job that is both well paying and healthy? Nope. Worthy of financial abundance? Oh no, definitely not. Worthy of achieving any sort of personal success? No.

It’s there, and I believe everyone ELSE is Worthy beyond measure. Of every great, wonderful thing they can imagine, fathom, dream up, create, long for… every single other being on this planet is Worthy.

Yet, somehow, I am not. Or so I have felt for over 30 years. And why? I can’t tell you one moment where I ever did, or even thought of doing, something so horrendously catastrophic that I might be unWorthy of anything. And to that point I believe that even those that have done horrible things are Worthy beings (they are still spiritual beings in these human bodies).

But me? Not really.

I can see the earliest years of my life where I felt unworthy, where the actions of others left me feeling as though the only, ONLY reason they would let such things happen to me is that I wasn’t Worthy. The years I lived a life in which these feelings were only reinforced, reaffirmed.

The little voice inside still wonders about it all. If I’d been Worthy my father wouldn’t have left, I would have been Worthy of his love and attention. If I’d been Worthy my mother wouldn’t have married my step-father. If I’d been Worthy he wouldn’t have hurt me. If I’d been Worthy my family would have saved me from the pain they saw me in, from the terrible home life. If only I’d been Worthy… somewhere along the way someone else would have recognized this and saved me. If I’d been Worthy, God would have never given me such a life – I must be a terrible person to have called this in to being, my Karma must be shit and I must have been a horrible person in a past life.

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 Then of course I stop myself, and I examine this depressing structure I’ve built in my head. Do I believe this of anyone else? No. I don’t for one brief moment believe they are unWorthy, ever. And if I don’t believe it of others, perhaps this means I’m Worthy too.

So… now that I know this One Word, I can look at it, ponder it, mull it over and bring it to the forefront of all that I do – to learn, and grow in to the sense, the belief, the Knowing, that I too am Worthy.

I am Worthy of Love, Happiness, Success, Joy, Spirtual Knowledge, Sleep, Dreams, Hope, Abundance, Laughter, Beauty, Food.

I

Am

Worthy.

And so are you.

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