Letting go (Heaven Help Me)

Recently I was feeling some serious blockage of energy around my heart (chest pains), my lungs (heaviness when I breathe), and my central chakra there (I couldn’t see it clearly). I’ve been working on it, albeit somewhat slowly, but concerned that I couldn’t quite “feel” my way through any of it.

When someone brushed over the throat and heart chakra/centers I felt a wonderous relief and a sense of opening, yet it was brief and I could still feel this lingering darkness.

It wasn’t simply a haunting spirit, a demon, a pain from eating the wrong foods, or an infection.

Yesterday after a long and involved therapy session, I realized..

It was me.

For all of my work on letting go, on forgiveness, on opening up and loving further, deeper. I’m really, really, REALLY angry. Yes, I felt the energy of a few specific people lingering with me, but it was my anger towards their actions, their behaviors, their words, that I’ve been holding on to.

And I could feel it yesterday while laying back, gently probing the sense of darkness. And I knew what it was laying there in my heart. It wasn’t just angry adult me, mad at terrible drivers or people being cruel or whatever. It was the younger me, furious at the world, at the people around me.

Today I woke up with a sensation, that was almost depressed. But it wasn’t “just” that. I let myself fall back asleep, briefly, curled up on the couch. I didn’t push my errands to happen, I didn’t stress that the books aren’t back at the library or the shopping for my trip isn’t done.

I just let myself be.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mr Lucki
    Mar 04, 2014 @ 22:34:58

    ayy Great story

    Reply

  2. Mr Lucki
    Mar 04, 2014 @ 22:35:58

    I hope you have sweet dreams

    Reply

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