What am I doing here?

Sitting here, tonight, scanning through my emails, old photos on my external drive, checking texts I don’t want to reply to, flipping through profiles on dating sites I don’t know why I belong to, listening to music as I haven’t in weeks… loving that.

And I have no idea, what I’m doing here.

I’m calm, but testy. I’ve meditated, and pondering some yoga or qi gong.. something to do.

Because I don’t know what I’m doing here, now.

I was waiting on a friend to come over, but work happened and they can’t;
but I wasn’t.. I wasn’t really waiting too much because, well, I knew they’d be too busy.

There was no holding my breath here.

I managed dishes today, and yard work.
I even knocked out several pages and adsense set up with Google on one of my other sites.

Yet somehow I feel as though I didn’t do what I needed to today. Whatever that may be.

And I still, have no clue, what I’m doing here, now.

I want to hear from someone, not sure I know who though.

I’d love to head out and travel the world, without a ticket in hand, or a destination in mind.

I’m lost, without a sense of why, I’m depressed, without a sense of where, I left off…

Normally with all this space, and free time, I’d rejoice in the chance to do.. something.
To become something more, in that time, in that free space.

Yet here I sit, completely, and utterly, unsure as to what I’m doing, now,

or ever.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. auxiliarystream
    May 29, 2014 @ 03:11:45

    “I’d love to head out and travel the world, without a ticket in hand, or a destination in mind.”

    I know exactly how ya feel


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