Changing the way I eat to change the way I feel

This isn’t something new for me, eating better to feel better. And I can’t say I’m a junk food addict or anything; the last “fast food” burger I had, or beef burger of any kind, was 3 years ago. I used to think that just eating the chicken pieces, all white meat!, or French fries no salt, was somehow saving me from unhealthy eating but… I was terribly wrong, and all of that went by the wayside even before that burger.

I’m once again shifting to a semi-radical diet change tomorrow, though it’s for rather different reasons than it used to be.
Shifting to a Paleo/SCD diet is not the hardest step for me to make, although no more grains of any kind is difficult in my head – the reality is that I feel horrible after a bowl of GF organic Oatmeal, or having 2 cups of rice instead of a small 1/2, and the two rice cakes as a snack actually seem to cause some serious discomfort (rice cakes?!). It’s not just wheat that bothers me, unfortunately. (It’s wheat, oats, rice, quinoa {ugh that stuff is the worst, I don’t care what everyone else says about it, inflamed for DAYS! No matter how it’s rinsed/prepared}, dairy, red meat, pork, sugar, syrups, honey, most fruits, legumes, beans, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and recently, an increasing number of raw vegetables)

Fortunately though, it seems that others have similar issues and so after weeks of collecting some wonderful recipe books and a refrigerator full of appropriate foods I’m ready to dive in. And cut out the grains.

I don’t have any sense that this will stop my IBS or Crohns – both of which I had tentative dx of 10+ years ago, though they couldn’t find many signs of either internally, because I don’t think I have something that fits so easily(sorry, I know if you have it, it’s not “easy”) into one diagnosis -as I’ve had two doctors remind me of this week alone. Which is hard enough in day to day life, it’s actually taken me out of the loop so to speak, rather efficiently.

But when I read these books most folks start with a phase 1, 2 and/or 3 for good measure, because they are trying to stop uncontrollable bathroom trips, diarrhea and stomach cramps – all of which I used to have. None of which I really have now. I get the stomach cramps, but nothing happens afterwards – which you might think is a relief, but it’s not, because whatever it is that is so upsetting my body? Won’t leave…

Now I have nothing at all. I actually, quite literally, have very minimal sensation or ability to even pass what my body is or isn’t able to process well. But that’s a different post I think (it’s not hirschprung’s, but it is familial; 4th generation here).

Now I’m just hoping to stop inflaming what little sense I have left in my digestive tract, and avoid a 2 week hospital stay with removal of any of my remaining internal organs. If my body isn’t so inflamed from the inside out, it can’t hurt, right?

Goals, anyone???

Here’s to better health, and a happier body.


Pieces Undone

Have you ever tried to piece yourself back together? Perhaps after a divorce, your own, your parents, a job loss, a parent (friend, lover, child) dying, a betrayal, or just a really terrible, seemingly damned, long day?

After some dark moment you realized that you were shattered, and that at some point you’d have to put the pieces back together. Maybe not today, or even tomorrow, hell, maybe not ever, because where you are right now… who cares about the pieces?! It’s broken… and that’s all you see, all you know.


But then you find yourself slowly coming back to the mess, the shattered bits on the floor, that you’ve tip-toed past day after day, night after night. And you realize, it’s time – maybe not to grab it all and figure it ALL out, but it’s time to find two pieces that fit together, and see how that feels. Perhaps after that you’ll have energy to find another piece, that matches the broken edges of the other two, that slides together back in a way that almost has you fooled into thinking these pieces, were never really broken.

You only have to slide your fingertips over the edges, like your tongue sliding over the cracks in your teeth, the dryness of your lips. And there you feel it, the little crack, the tiny crevices no one else will ever notice.

Do you ever look at the pieces and say, No, that one I’m not using. That one doesn’t fit. It’s too shattered, it was ground in to dust, and there’s nothing I want it for. I will remake the whole without it. For every day I look at what I’ve pieced together, I will know.. that piece, I left behind, I let it go. I’m stronger, better, happier, or just.. OK, as I am now.

And I will do as the Japanese do, I will fill the space in with gold, I will not hide the broken pieces, I will call them out. As one site observes of Kintsugi “the japanese art of repairing with gold to create a perfectly imperfect piece of beauty”.


Yes, that, right there.. A perfectly imperfect piece of beauty.

It has become more valuable, because it was broken, because it was brought back together, because the hidden is now seen. And there is an art in this, a strength.

What once was broken, can always be mended.


Veronica Yem

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